Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Was it you?
My layout for Sketches Oz this month. Melissa Goodsell did a wonderful sketch. As per usual, I ended changing it around a bit, as I had a portrait oriented photo.
When I saw this photo, it reminded me of a dream I had a few years ago, before I had conceived Jamie. (Do you think I dream in black and white, lol? I could not, for trying, add any more colour to this. It had to be black and white. Even the photo is dark. Weird!)
The dream was one so vivid that it had stayed with me. It was one of those dreams where I woke up with the emotions still very much with me. A very powerful dream. And I've always wondered... So, when I took this photo, I had to go scrabbling through my old journals to find what I'd written at the time and this is it:
"14 April 2002. I was miserable. Depressed. Couldn't sleep. And then, when I did fall asleep, I dreamt I had a baby. He came and spoke to me. He brought me such comfort. I woke, sobbing with relief. My baby, he existed! 5 years later, I often wonder if that was you. If it was your beautiful soul speaking to me when I most needed it."
Honestly, I can't describe the feeling of release and utter comfort I had after waking from this dream. All my despair had evaporated. And I felt such confidence that this was my baby's soul speaking to me. Such utter calm and confidence. And happiness. Totally freaky. In my dream he (yes, the baby was a boy) was called Benjamin. When we came to naming Jamie, I had Benjamin as one of my choices, but couldn't bring myself to name him that. Just because the dream had been so strong.
Well, Phil just rang to say we have another open at 1pm. At the moment we're doing them by appointment, as we have booked an agent who has registered buyers. I think this is the last of them. Then we go to auction if the house has not been sold. I'll be glad to stop having opens for just one or two parties. It's driving me nuts all this cleaning! I have spent 8 hours in the last five days, just cleaning house. That was my scrapping time! Needless to say, I'm way behind with my scrapping goals.
Well, enough complaining, I have two and a quarter hours to clean the house.