Friday, October 30, 2009

New Goals?

So, this week we learned that our IVF cycle has been unsuccessful. Not terribly surprising, but upsetting nonetheless.

Upsetting, because... well... for one thing, they pump you full of hormones, fuller than you've ever been in your life, and then they deliver the sad news, so .... well.... it's a bit hard to deal with bad news when you are terribly hormonal, lol.

But, also upsetting because, for us this means the end of the road in having another baby. It means that Jamie will never have a sibling. It means that his only family here is me, his Dad, his grandma and his grandad. Such a small, small family for a little boy. I'm sad for him.

And while I've had three years of trying for a baby, in which to try to come to terms with the fact that it may be over, it's still quite hard to digest when the news comes.

(ETA: I should explain that, when we initially decided to do IVF, we were told that we would only be offered one cycle. Because, at my age, it was unlikely that IVF would help, and that any further cycles would be a waste. So, although we'll discuss it with our specialist when we see him next, the option of more cycles is probably not one that will be available to us.)

And I realise that for the last three years, I have put my life on hold. Because, well, each month there was the possibility that I would be pregnant. So, I held off doing this. And I held off doing that. Then, there was the possibility that we would need IVF, so I saved and held off buying this, and held off buying that (like my DSLR camera ;) ).

But, now I guess I need to take stock. Jamie will be in school in a year's time. What new goals will I need to put in place? It's terribly hard to turn a ship around when it's been sailing full steam towards a goal... It's so hard to stop, and to change my headset. But that's what I need to do.

I thought twice about whether to post such a private thing. But, I know that I have mentioned this before. I know that some of you are probably wondering how our journey is going. And I know that we are not the only family grappling with these sorts of issues.

(I also know that we are lucky to already have one perfect little boy, and we are oh so grateful to have him bless our lives. There are other families who don't even get to experience that. I know that we are lucky. Nonetheless, I think that if your heart has been really aching for something whether it's your first child, or your sixteenth (!?), the news that your desire will not come to fruition is difficult no matter what.)

Well, now I'm waffling. Dratted hormones, lol.
I want to thank you if you have held us in your thoughts recently.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Totally age appropriate

Jamie had a follow up visit to the speech pathologist this morning, for a re-assessment. And the verdict? Pretty much age appropriate. Isn't that wonderful news?

We have only to work on the "s" sound now. (It tends to sound a little bit like "sh".)

And we don't have to go back until next year, when we will have another assessment to check that his new sounds are coming on line as they should be as he develops.

I am so proud of my boy, for all the hard work he has put in. He is such a clever chicken!

And, while I'm talking about age appropriate....

Yesterday we had a friend over for lunch. She bought some muffins with her. Mmmm muffins! Big muffins. The sort that you have to cut in half, and save the other half for later. Or share it. Which is what we had planned. Only Jamie had other ideas. When I cut ours in half and offered him half, he complained. He wanted the whole thing. I explained that we were all having half - because the muffins were so big. We were SHARING. But, no. He did not want to share. His solution? "Jamie will have muffin for snack, and mummy can have sultanas and apricots".

Is that kid clever or what? Sultanas and apricots is our usual afternoon snack ;)

Saturday, October 24, 2009


I am teaching two classes at Seriously Scrapbooking in the next couple of months.

31 October 2009, 1.30-4pm
2 single layouts featuring Websters Pages papers. Themes: nature, outdoor play, funtimes, child. Will suit boy or girl pages. Both layouts use one 6x4 inch photograph (portrait orientation).

Please forgive the shoddy photography - I must get better photos when I'm not racing against the setting sun!

We'll be creating playful pages using hand-cut elements, paint and distressing.

5 December 2009, 1.30-4pm
Double layout featuring Graphic 45 papers. Possible themes: child at play, heritage child, BOM children photos, favourite childrens’ toys, favourite childrens’ books, favourite childrens’ games. Layout uses three 4x6inch photographs (portrait orientation). Colour or black and white.

The layout I've made for this class is seriously my favourite layout of all time at the moment :). The papers are to die for, and the layout is full of texture and old-world whimsy. My kinda page! We'll be doing heaps of inking and distressing, and building layer upon layer in our layout.

For more details contact Seriously Scrapbooking, 8277 1298

Edited to add: All layouts are available for viewing at Seriously Scrapbooking.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Just dropping in

Hi! :)

Just dropping by. Got a coffee in my hand, and decided to stop by for a chat with you all. Are you all set for the weekend? We haven't got any plans, apart from swimming lessons tomorrow morning. I dunno what I feel like doing. Maybe the zoo? Maybe a picnic in the park? The weather is just gorgeous outdoor weather at the moment.

Jamie and I are recovering from our colds. Mine knocked me flat for several days. I slept nearly all weekend. I didn't end up going to that fortieth either. Jamie and Phil went and I stayed home, all tucked up under a blankie, watching television and snoozing. But I feel much better now.

The consequence of Jamie getting ill is that he gets clingy, probably like all small children. So it's been a problem leaving him at childcare this week while I've gone to work. Each morning he's insisted that he didn't want to go. When I've dropped him off he's been a bit upset. Yesterday they told me he was sad all morning :(. Then when I picked him up after work, he had a drawing for me: Daddy, Mummy, Jamie and Jak (haha, the cutest little doggie). Sweet. But the title did me in. There, in neat handwriting across the top it said:

"Dear Mum, I missed you".

Awwww. My heart! It broke into a million tiny pieces. I hate to think of him there all sad. Even now, after two and a half years, he still isn't happy. It's the saddest thing and the hardest thing about being a mum.

Mother guilt.

Saturday, October 17, 2009


Congratulations to Janine Koczwara and Louise Nelson, who have also been announced as new members of the Aussie Scrap Source design team. The three of us join the exising team that comprises: Carole Janson, Caroline McLachlan, Donna Wild, Melissa Goodsell, Nic Howard, Nicole Finlayson, Steph Devlin, and Suz Doyle. Awesome!

There's much excitement in the scrapbooking world at the moment, with the announcement of the top 50 shortlisted entrants in the Scrapbooking Memories Masters competition. I can't believe it was nearly a year ago already, when I found out I had been named a Master. This year has flown by. So, congratulations to all 67 scrappers who made the top 50 (lol, yes I know, someone's maths doesn't add up!) and I can't wait to see the magazine when it appears in December and we get to find out who the ten new Masters are.

Today I have a sore throat and a husky voice, lungs that feel on fire, and a general feeling of aching and tiredness that makes me want to just crawl back to bed. Unfortunately I can't. I have appointments and chores all day long, pretty much and then a 40th birthday party tonight. I will just take it slowly, I think. Grizzle. Sigh. Cough.

Til later.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Out of the mouths of...

As Jamie and I were sitting reading a story before bed last night, he turned to me and said:

"Mummy, you're a whore"

As you might imagine, I was rather taken aback.

"A whore?" I asked.

"Yes." he replied and went on to elaborate, "I'm a he and you're a whore"

LOL, gotta love speech disorders... "her". I'm a "her".

I am relieved.

Thank you all so much for your wishes on the new design team. I am busy making more pages for Aussie Scrap Source. I also went today and got the materials to start working on my next class. I'll share sneak peeks when I can.

I'm headed for an early night tonight. Jamie has been sick these past three days, with fevers and chills and a nasty cough. He's been just that little bit more whingy and clingy than normal. Now, I feel like I'm coming down with it too. Bah!

Talk soon.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

When opportunity knocks...

I absolutely cannot, simply cannot go to bed without letting you know....

A few weeks ago I received a rather unexpected email. Well, totally unexpected really, if I'm being honest. The email was inviting me to join a certain design team. Now, I had often looked at this particular design team and had (rather wistfully) thought that it would be a super design team to belong to.

Well.... now I do!!!

I am so incredibly delighted to share with you that I am now a member of the Aussie Scrap Source Design Team.

Here are my projects for my introductory post on their blog.

I Love Spring
Journaling: That first day when you feel the sun on your bare arms... it's the best! My spirits lift immediately.

Lovin' that ASS carries Websters Pages. I am adoring using them at the moment.

Lots of distressing, some calico and handstitching on this page :).

Aah, when I'm given free reign with manufacturers, who do I choose? Any guesses?

Journaling: I will be sad when winter ends and I no longer have the opportunity to dress you in my fav. hat.

Cosmo - one of my favourite manufacturers for little boy lines. Easily one of my favourite manufacturers for Jamie's pages :)

Love those wood grain chipboard letters and all the retro chipboard embellishments!!

Mr Happy
Journaling: Whether you're running around pretending to be a favourite animal or merrily singing some song, you're one bundle of happy energy!

Haha! Sassafras Lass. Always a firm favourite. Such happy happy products. The monsters in the Monstrosities line just reminded me of the Mr Men, one of whom is pictured on Jamie's top in these photos. And it's such a good reflection of his personality - I just had to document it.

OK, that's it from me tonight. Check the post out here.

OK, now I have to get to bed. Night!

Layout share

I hear that the new issue of Scrapbooking Memories is just hitting the stands, which means I can share my layouts from Vol 11 No7. I had two pages in there:

Hugs and Kisses

Unfortunately you never get a good sense of the texture in layouts when you just see the 2D image. This one if full of 3D elements.

Then there was this funny little page that I did for the Masters Challenge gallery:

The Uncooperative Carrot
Journaling: Your first dress-up for childcare. You had to go as your favourite healthy food. I snapped these shots of you in the morning before we left. You were most uncooperative. Oh well. You did want to go as a banana after all!

Jamie really did want to go as a banana. But when I picked through his wardrobe, he had precious little in the way of yellow clothes. He did have orange pants and an orange top though. Sorry buddy!

Thank goodness for cardstock. I used up a couple of sheets of Coredinations cardstock that was part of my Masters prize pack making that little head-ornament ;)

I have been feeling a little less inspired to blog lately. I feel that our life is so ho hum ordinary, and not worth sharing. Tell me, is there anything you'd like me to address a blog post to?


Monday, October 05, 2009

Kit layouts

The Shop and Crop Cropaholics Kit has gone up for sale on the site. I was delighted when Sasha invited me to design with the kit, as it features the Crate Paper Seasons line, which is so utterly fresh and bright (and cute!).

I designed a single layout and a sweet little mini album. Here they are:


Play Mini Album

Instructions come with the kit.

Apart from that, I have been enjoying the long weekend we have here this weekend.

Playgrounds, beaches, coffee with friends, movies :). Beautiful!

Congratulations to Janine on the birth of sweet little Ashton this weekend too.

That's it from me today. See you!